i have become that aunt who buys you sweaters for christmas.

yep. see how much more excited i am in this moment than finn? I couldn't help buying it, I just love Cowichan sweaters. Maybe one day I'll get a real one made of raw wool that's really scratchy (but water resistant!) My mom used to get legit Cowichan sweaters for Christmas every year from her grandmother who lived in Vancouver, BC. I just love the great white north. Perhaps I'll find one when I go up in a couple of weeks.

see more pics with finn in his sweater here.

show us how to grieve, lord.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

saying goodbye

"Saying goodbye
Feels like a thunder storm
Striking me,
Losing my thoughts
About a person.
I feel empty like a glass of water
When it's all drunk up.
If I don't say goodbye,
It's worse,
Like a heartbeat
Just going slower and slower
Until it just gives out.
If I have to say goodbye,
I want to tell you
That you'll always be in my heart
And I will always love you
As a friend,
And I will never forget you.
And I will never stop
Thinking about you.
So I'll say goodbye,
Even if you're not there,
Because once you're a friend,
I'll never forget you."

- a 9 year old girl from Lisa's work who is in foster care.

blech.

a. to quote my friend jake, who also knew luke and anthony, "death is an asshole." i concur. Luke Gullberg's memorial is this sunday at 3pm at Pacific Middle School in Des Moines. I will most definitely be there. And if/when anthony has one, I'll be there too.

b. I'm obsessed with this tribute to a tribute (the brat pack): this isn't the official video. but it should be.

c. i have a pretty epic (at least i think) christmas mix, that all fit nicely onto one cd. i've given different versions away through the season, but it is now widdled down to perfection. Here are the track names, for those of you who I will not be seeing this christmas season. I found/bought them all online, so you can work your own christmas miracle.

1. Clem Snide - Joy to the World

2. Pedro The Lion - God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

3. Fiest - Lo, a Rose 'ere blooming

4. Damien Rice - Happy Xmas (War is over)

5. Pedro the Lion - I heard the Bells on Christmas Day

6. Ohtis - American Christians

7. Paper Route - City Trucks

8. The winston Jazz Routine - Through the Snow

9. Sufjan Stevens - That was the worst Christmas Ever!

10. Jennifer O-Connor - Deck the Halls

11. Nathan Phillips - Cross Country Skis

12. Laura Gibson - It came upon a midnight clear

13. Prayers & Tears of Digby Sellers- Christmas Card to a Hooker in Minneapolis

14. Chris Garneau - It's almost Christmas

15. Bodies of water with no little kindness - O come, O come, Emmmanuel

16. Via Audio - My boo

17. Low - Just like Christmas

18. The Weepies - All that I want

19. Great Lake Swimmers - Gonna make it through this year

20. Sufjan Stevens - Holy Holy Holy

21. Regina Spektor - My dear acquaintance (A happy New Year)

22. BONUS TRACK

It's pretty melancholic, but it seems to fit this season.

best albums of the...

My friend brian is in the midst of putting together "the best [songs] of 2009" top 5. I love top 5's, and it inspired me to do my own... but. I was reminded that, (thanks to paste magazine, via my friend Carl-Eric,) we are at the END OF A DECADE. you know, like, "the 80's!" and "the 90's!"

In the future, when people are going to be making mix tapes, (alright, playlists,) of this decade, it will start with Independent Women and Oops I did it again, then end with Single Ladies and Womanizer. (Or, if you have a slightly different taste in music, starts with Paranoid Android and Yellow, then ends with Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver. ...to each his own.) In short, this is a monumental moment, because it is an end of an era. Music get's grouped in decades.

However, I'm not about to throw down the "best albums of 2000-2009." Partly because I think I would most certainly show favoritism towards albums from 2004 to 2007. (My hippest years of what was going down in the music scene.) Also, you not only have to decide what bands to include from the decade, but you inevitably have to answer the question of "what is your favorite record?" from them. It's near impossible. To quote Paul Constant, who has a difficult time picking favorites, especially when it comes to books: "Out of the thousands of books that I've read, with the enormous palette of ideas and emotions they've represented, how could I choose only, say, five? Why not ask for a favorite orgasm, or laugh, or grain of sand?"

But Paste put out a very impressive top 50, well, indie top 50. Yes, it totally under-represents pop, country and hip hop music, but the Taylor Swift's and Kanye West's in the industry have definitely had their moment to shine. heh. (Though, Kanye West does make the list.) Best you just see it for yourselves. Some of the choices made me SO happy. Others, left me asking, "really?"

The real version.

The condensed version:

50. Björk: Vespertine [Elektra] (2001)
49. Libertines: Up The Bracket [Rough Trade] (2002)
48. Loretta Lynn: Van Lear Rose [Interscope] (2004)
47. Arctic Monkeys: Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not [Domino] (2006)
46. Once: Music From The Motion Picture [Columbia] (2007)
45. Radiohead: In Rainbows [Self-released] (2007)
44. The Jayhawks: Rainy Day Music [Lost Highway] (2003)
43. Jens Lekman: Night Falls Over Kortedala [Secretly Canadian] (2007)
42. Jay-Z: The Blueprint [Roc-A-Fella] (2001)
41. LCD Soundsystem: Sound of Silver [Capitol] (2007)
40. TV on the Radio: Return to Cookie Mountain [Interscope] (2006)
39. Arcade Fire: Neon Bible [Merge] (2007)
38. Gentleman Jesse: Introducing Gentleman Jesse [Douchemaster] (2008)
37. Iron & Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days (2004)
36. Pedro The Lion: Control [Jade Tree] (2002)
35. Animal Collective: Merriweather Post Pavilion [Domino] (2009)
34. Various artists: O Brother Where Art Thou? [Mercury] (2001)
33. Coldplay: A Rush Of Blood To The Head [Capitol] (2002)
32. The Flaming Lips: Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots [Warner Bros.] (2002)
31. Death Cab For Cutie: Transatlanticism [Barsuk] (2003)
30. Damien Rice: O [Vector] (2003)
29. Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago [Jagjaguwar] (2008)
28. Paul Westerberg: Folker [Vagrant] (2004)
27. Drive-By Truckers: Decoration Day [New West] (2003)
26. Over the Rhine: Ohio (2004)
25. Sigur Rós: Med ud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust [XL] (2008)
24. The Shins: Chutes Too Narrow [Sub Pop] (2003)

23. Ryan Adams: Heartbreaker [Bloodshot] (2000)

22. The Decemberists: The Crane Wife [Capitol] (2006)
21. Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend [XL] (2008)
20. The National: Boxer [Beggars Banquet] (2007)
19. Beck: Sea Change [Interscope] (2002)
18. Amy Winehouse: Back To Black [Universal Republic] (2007)
17. Kanye West: The College Dropout [Roc-A-Fella] (2004)
16. Rufus Wainwright: Want One [Dreamworks] (2003)
15. Patty Griffin: 1000 Kisses [ATO] (2002)
14. The Strokes: Is This It [RCA] (2001)
13. Josh Ritter: The Animal Years [V2] (2006)
12. Spoon: Kill the Moonlight [Merge] (2002)
11. The Hold Steady: Boys and Girls in America [Vagrant] (2006)
10. M.I.A.: Arular [Interscope] (2005)
9. The Avett Brothers: I and Love and You [Columbia/American] (2009)
8. OutKast: Stankonia [Arista/LaFace] (2000)
7. Gillian Welch: Time (the Revelator) [Acony] (2001)
6. The White Stripes: Elephant [V2] (2003)
5. Bright Eyes: I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning [Saddle Creek] (2005)
4. Radiohead: Kid A [Capitol] (2000)
3. Arcade Fire: Funeral [Merge] (2004)
2. Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot [Nonesuch] (2002)
1. Sufjan Stevens: Illinois [Asthmatic Kitty] (2005)

Just a few thoughts:
#24, #25 right band, wrong record.
#31, #36 right band, right record.
where is modest mouse and elliott smith?
#1 i wholeheartedly agree.

What do you think of this list? What would you put on here that didn't make their list? You can stream all these albums if you're wondering what they sound like HERE.

a gift from me to you.

I was inspired to learn Pedro the Lion's version of "I heard the bells on Christmas Day," after-which, I thought, "hey, why not record it?"

I don't have an external mic or anything, so it's bum quality, but it's a first go at using garage band, (which was extremely easy to figure out, by the way. good job, apple. I literally sat down with a guitar for 5 hours, and this is what I ended up with.)

You can listen to it here.

The lyrics are also rad:

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet, the words repeat
Peace on earth, good will to men

I thought how, as the day had come
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair, I bowed my head
"There is no peace on earth," I said
For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

Then pealed the bells, more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth he sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

[image cred: Seth Woodyard, from the University of Winnipeg Campus Paper]

(also currently on my wall.)

Anna and Cory

"I just wanted to let you know that your photos of our wedding are absolutely beyond my wildest dreams of how you could capture our event. I am so grateful that I found you, and will cherish your photos for the rest of my life. Thank you thank you thank you for doing what you do so well, and for such a great price. Everyone I show my photographs are blown away. You have a lot of new fans. :)"

current delights, (in my room)

1. Passion, aggression, courage, fire, sacrifice, danger, blushing, and Christmas. In other words, the color red. I love the color red. ...and green, and brown, and blue. But red burns deep in my room.

2. Postcards and Letters. I read them over and over again. hold them in my hands, carry them in my book bag, hang them on the walls. I'm sad that letters have made the "list of things that were once common but not so much anymore."* Handwriting is so personal, and unfortunately, there are few friends whose penmanship I know well.

3. Clove candles.

4. Jazz music. I love playing it, and I love listening to it. Love love love Nat King Cole singing Nature Boy on Vinyl.

5. Audiobooks. I was first inspired to use audiobooks for my car, but since have used them as I edit photos. Most recently, Christopher Walkin reading Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven. Creeeepy B'Deepy.

6. Books. They sit on my shelves, arranged by color. I am currently reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Bell Jar, Out of the Silent Planet, Walking on Water (L'Engle). Dante's Divine Comedy, and New Moon. Yes New Moon. I'm trying to finish it before I go see it opening night at southcenter, where I will observe twilight fever.

7. Seraph wings that sit in the corner of my room.

8. Hanging out in my room. And I'm the most extraverted person I know. I was wary about returning to my parents home after living happily in different communities in seattle, but there are endearing moments here that are specific to my parents home. Today I sat in my bed and watched Finding Nemo with Finn on my lap and Hero at my side.

There are more that could make the list. Lions, cameras, lamps, instruments... but off to bed I go!

*Also on this list of less common things, (from a book called Obsolete): blind dates, mix tapes, getting lost, porn magazines, looking old, operators, camera film, hitchhiking, body hair, writing letters, basketball players in short shorts, privacy, cash, and, yes, books.

smile.

i love this kid sooo much. (and i love ol' star-eyes too.)

more from our adventure here.

hello beatles fans.

I want to invite any Beatles fans to a DUEL. or, a competition. Who can name the most Beatles tunes (from their studio albums) in nineteen minutes. With our heads together, Bonnie and I got 92 (out of 192,) and alone I just got 76. (I expect this number will increase in the near future after applying my mind to nothing else but Beatles tunes memorization.)

Here's the quiz.

happy halloween.

just a couple of kittens out on the town.

having fun with bon and cal!

ah.. vacation, i love it. the last few days have consisted of:

- drinking fort garry dark. yesh.

- playing fetch with bon and cal's cat.  yes, playing fetch. with a cat.  what's more is he enjoys getting wet, and when you're washing the dishes in the sink, he's gets all up in your bidness.*

- going for breakfast with Kirsten, where she gave us a 101 on Dante and his Divine Comedy.  Bon and I are planning to read it out loud.  I'm so glad that we have a sense of Dante and his story before we do.  I left saying to Bon, "you couldn't pay for that."

- Going to classes with Bonnie.  This I love, because it's what happened at capernwray:  If it is a good class, there's stimulating conversation afterwards, but if it's a bad class, then you've got a good rant in store for you.  Most interesting thus far: Canadian History, where, when Bon asked the prof if her "american friend" could sit in, his response was, "Sure, and I'll try to keep my anti-american sentiments to a minimum."  He was joking, ...I think. Lucky me, the topic was the war of 1812.**

- Having a clove with Heath.  

Heath: "Spiro, do you want a clove?" 

Me: "I don't have any."

Heath: "That's okay, I do."  

Me: "You know what? The the last time I had a clove was with you, at the wedding."  

Heath: "Oh, I don't mean to be a bad influence."  

Me: "Not at all." 

- taking photos of St. Margaret's church.  Don asked me to take some shots of the beautiful sanctuary for their website, which they hope to revamp.  when i asked don what he was looking for in the photos, he said, "oh, i'm hoping it will look a little like The Other Journal," as if he could drop that nonchalantly and I wouldn't notice. TOJ is a journal out of MHGS.   He was familiar with it because Kirsten had an article in TOJ not too long ago about Charles Williams.  Small world. 

*which is ebonics for being in my face and annoying the bejeezus out of me. - Michael Scott

**that was, (for those of us who aren't history majors or a canadian,) the "second war of independence" against Britain, where they burned down the white house.

misson accomplished.

i am currently in the land of neil young. yes, it is very cold, but not that cold, and that's nice.

one mission i had was to get don betts to post the sermon from Bonnie's wedding. the sermon flowed from Song of Solomon. It was beautiful, personal, and rang very true to how I see these two.

I'm happy to say, mission accomplished. I am very happy.

The disciple has put his hand to the plow, and he has never looked back. And he never will. And his plow scours deep and clean. Caleb is the faithful one, the servant, the pilgrim. He has sought, and he has found his bride. “Rise up my love my fair one,” he says, “and come away,” and finally she has agreed. For this young disciple of Christ, "the winter has past, the rain is over and gone, and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land." He loves Bonnie as Christ has loved the church and gave himself up for her. His task is easy. This burden is light. At least for now. But being a partner of a mystic may not always be easy and may not always be light, for she has a different story to tell.

if you have time, hear the sermon here.

I'm going on an adventure!

see you in a few weeks! (unless you're in manitoba. then i'll see you in a few days.)

i posted more.

i posted more.